We may love ourselves. We may be urgent about meeting our needs. Also, there may be a time that there will be tenderness about how our needs will be met. Sometimes, our thoughts, words and actions were driven by the love of ourselves.
To love "your neighbor as yourself" (Luke 10:27) requires the same urgent kind of love. It's a love that notices the need of another person and won't rest until it's been met. It's a gentle, tender love that thinks and acts carefully. It's the sacrificial and compassionate love that a nameless Samaritan had for a fallen traveler.
You cannot touch your neighbor's heart with anything less than your own. You cannot give what you don't have, in other words. Be filled with His love today so that you can love others without any grudge. It's the kind of love God wants to share with your neighbors through you.